The World According to Little F

On Self-Expression:

Little F wakes up crying and both Big E and I go in the check on him.
Me: Did you wake up and get scared?
Little F: No, I just wanted to cry.


On Self-Expression, Part 2:

Little F pointing at my back: What’s that?
Me: It’s my tattoo.
LF: Where’s Daddy’s tattoo?
Me: On Daddy’s arm and chest.
LF: We all have tattoos!  Where’s my tattoo?
Me: You don’t have a tattoo.
LF: I have to go to the tattoo store and get my tattoo.


This was written on July 9th but never published.

Let me preface this by saying that Little F is still sleeping in the same room as Big E and me.  Alright, alright, truth be told he’s still in our bed.  Actually beds, plural, since we have two mattresses pushed together so we all have room to spread out.  But let me also say that Little F is still nursing at night.  Which is why he’s still sleeping in our room, which is why he’s still nursing at night, which is why he’s still sleeping in our room, so on and so forth.

A few weeks ago I dreamed I was in a store and there was an annoying lady who kept coming up to me and tweaking my nipple.  I politely asked her to stop but she kept doing it.  Finally I’d had enough and I told her if she did it again I was going to hit her.  Well, she did it again and true to my word I hit her!  I woke up to find out that I had swatted Little F in my sleep.  He had woken up, crawled over to me, and had started to nurse without me consciously knowing.  He didn’t seem to mind the swat and actually kept nursing, even as I was apologizing to him.

But turn-about is fair play…  Less than a week after my dreaming incident Little F had his own.  I had just come in to bed and he woke up to nurse.  We were carrying on as usual when all of a sudden he bit me.  Ouch!  He hadn’t bitten me while nursing since he was a baby, around four or five months old.

Me as I unlatched him: “You aren’t supposed to bite Mama.  That’s not nice.”
Little F mumbling sleepily with his eyes closed: “…cake…”
Me: “You’re not supposed to bite me.  Wait, what are you saying?”
Little F: “I want more cake,” and he went right back to nursing.

Evidently in his dreams my milk tastes like cake.  No wonder he still wants to nurse in the middle of the night.  I’d love to wake up at 5am for a bite of cake too.

Back From…

Hm.  I was going to say “abyss” but that sounded too serious.  Then “vacation” came to mind, except the only vacation I went on this summer was for my annual girls’ trip over a month ago.  “Edge” also popped into my mind but that conjured up “Women on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown” or “Postcards from the Edge” and again, it sounded a little too serious.

I’ve missed having a place to put my thoughts into words, I’ve missed keeping a running diary of Little F’s days.

I did write some posts that were never published during my hiatus (Yes!  That’s the word I was looking for!) and I think I’ll start publishing some of those as I find my blog-legs again.

Saturday is the autumnal equinox.  Change is in the air and in my life, but good changes.  I went to my first Pilates class (ever) today, which was also only the second workout-type class I’ve gone to since Little F was born, almost two-and-a-half years ago.  The last time I actually was practicing Bikram yoga was in 2009.  I made it to one Bikram class on my birthday in 2011.  And now a Pilates class today.  Assuming I make it to class again next Tuesday I’ll have maxed out my class quota through 2015!  Cheers to being an overachiever!

It’s Called Gratitude

I’m grateful for fun-filled weekends: giant water slides, swimming, and a pony!

I’m grateful for the unexpected influence we can have on people without knowing it.

I’m grateful for family: a visit from my brother and his family from California to start the week (did they really just leave on Monday?!?) and dinner with my father-in-law and his long-time girlfriend this evening.

I’m grateful for a vacation day in the middle of the week.  As we had Little F saying, “Happy birthday, USA!”

And I’m grateful for air-conditioning.  Like much of the country it’s been here for the past couple weeks.  I never knew 89 degrees could feel so balmy.

It’s Called Gratitude

This week I’m grateful for:

— Old friends and new babies.  Welcome to the family, Baby K!

— Hearing the words, “Thank you, Mama” come out of Little F’s mouth without prompting.

— A love of music and a new (toy) guitar.

— A city with lots of fun things to do.  A visit to the Makers Faire and Science City with the family plus Guncle E made for a fun morning.

— My family for letting me serve them variations of cheese and crackers for dinner more than once this  past week as the temperatures have climbed into the mid-nineties and above.