My recent Google search history includes, but is not limited to, searches for the following:
Diva Cup– I’ve been interested in getting one of these since I got my first post-partum period. I’m still interested but haven’t bought one. I never remember that I want one until it’s too late for the month. Then I forget about it as soon as my period’s gone, until the next month.
Cole Slaw– I bought a cabbage at the Farmer’s Market last week and still haven’t done anything with it. But I’m really not a fan of cole slaw so I’m not sure why I was searching for recipes for it. I’m sure there are other things I’d rather do with a cabbage, I just don’t know what they are yet. Google to the rescue!
Chocolate Sable cookies, Miette– I got a little package of these cookies in exchange for checking in on my BFF’s cats while she and her husband were out-of-town. I would do just about anything to get some more of those cookies. They.were.so.freakin’.awesome!
Bloated, gassy, sensitive to smells– Not just signs of being pregnant, can be signs of PMS too! (See Diva Cup search above)
Exposed to chickenpox, how long for symptoms– Ten days for the worst of the spots to appear, give or take. We were all at a birthday party earlier this month with a little boy who was contagious. So far, so good, knock on wood. I think we’re in the clear.
Chickenpox symptoms– cough, slight fever then the tell-tale spots
Ghost Riders in the Sky lyrics– I was trying to entertain Little F. He’s still young enough to enjoy my singing. And my dad used to sing this song to me when I was little; at least the “yippie-ai-a/ yippie-ai-oh” lines. Google would have come in handy for him back then.
Big Rock Candy Mountain lyrics– Same as above
Rye Whiskey lyrics– Same as above except I used to sing this song when I was little. The “kidnappers” sang it to the little girl, Savannah, in the movie Savannah Smiles. Sigh. I used to loove that movie.
Positive strep throat no symptoms– Fun medical facts with Google! You can be a carrier of strep and test positive for the disease but never show any symptoms!
Yeast infection toddler– I don’t suggest doing a Google image search of this. Trust me.
Cloth diaper, yeast infection– I still haven’t figured this one out. Not that there weren’t sites devoted to the topic, I just haven’t figure out how to get rid of the yeast in the cloth diapers.
Brown roof and gutters, what paint color– Any color you want as long as your husband likes it too.
Bumblebee eating deck– Not a bumblebee, carpenter bees! They are capable of destroying your house! They will chew perfectly round holes in any untreated wood! You must get rid of them before your house collapses on itself! Act now, it can’t wait! (Hysteria mine)
What does this say about me? I’m a PMS-y, hypochondriac, whose house is falling apart, and likes to sing old cowboy songs? Sounds about right.